“I’m beyond tired, I’m exhausted. I’ve worked for hours, and I see no progress or any fruit of my labor. I’m worried about doing good enough for those who depend on me, and I’m discouraged by the difficulty of it all.” This may have been the inner monologue of Peter, tidying his nets after a tough night. This may be your inner monologue sometimes, especially after long days or nights of work, childcare or eldercare, or other demanding duties. Sometimes we just want to get through it all and be done with it.
When Jesus asks Peter to cast into the deep, the depth is not only that of the water. This depth is also the inner place of resilience that Peter must find to move forward. Deep inside, there may still be a place of hope, courage, and even joy. Deep inside, with God, is life. When we are willing to look again into the deep, and resist the despair that hovers at the end of long, difficult, seemingly fruitless work, we may discover, by grace, a way that is easy and light.
Lowering the nets after a fruitless night is foolishness in the eyes of a seasoned fisherman. Going along with silly play at bath time instead of insisting on the efficiency of getting
it done right now is foolishness in the eyes of an exhausted parent. Building bath-bubble mountains with the kids is foolishness in the concrete. Yet the lightness and joy, when we cast deep inside and allow it, is as abundant and freeing as a miraculous catch. Sometimes the nets of our hearts will tear, allowing us to grow toward greater joy.

Daniella Zsupan-Jerome.

Daniella Zsupan-Jerome, PhD, teaches pastoral theology at Saint John’s School of Theology and Seminary in Collegeville, Minnesota. She is author of Connected Toward Communion: The Church and Social Communication in the Digital Age and the forthcoming Speak, Lord, Your Servant Is Listening.