The great marriage myth of our time is that marriage remains
the same as the years pass. Throughout our twenty-seven year
marriage, my husband, Cory, and I have journeyed
together
through at least three (if not more) unique phases
of marriage.
Married at age twenty-four, we started out with fresh
college
degrees and no children. And then God gave us two
beautiful babies who quickly turned into toddlers, and then
into teens, and now into young adults. Through the years,
changes in our work lives and mental and physical and spiritual
health have meant changes in the way we interact and
grow together as a couple. And now, both firmly ensconced
in middle age, we are on the cusp of another marriage phase:
the empty nest.
Jesus offers strong words about divorce in today’s Gospel.
Some scholars note that Jesus was against divorce partially
because marriage was a safety net for women. Indeed, other
Gospel stories remind us of the hardship and destitution of
being a widow—or worse, unmarried—in ancient times. In
our day, while the institution of marriage continues to evolve,
the sacrament of marriage remains a lifelong commitment.
As to the way forward, we might glean some advice from
Jesus’ words in the second half of today’s Gospel: “whoever
does not accept the Kingdom of God like a child will not
enter it.” Maybe the same is true of marriage. As we enter
each new phase of life together, we are called to remember
the open-eyed wonder of childhood and the sense of possibility
that each new day holds. Even after all these years.

Heidi Busse

Heidi Busse is the editor of Give Us This Day.